to be honest…..

I have never really been a person for meaningless statements. In fact on a normal day I don’t talk much.
That does not mean I cannot talk nonsense, I have a degree in nonsense talk….. You may apply if you want to learn..

I can however assure you that, when I say I will do something, it is as good as done. But not everybody does that these days. The culture of today is rather fickle and its rather hard to take somebody seriously at their word. It is flimsy, but what can one do? Now it is a matter of looking at context and area of life when somebody tells me something they will do.

I guess I am a rather cynical person because I have distilled it to the point of I don’t believe anyone means anything and I am surprised if they follow through.

We say so many things like, “how are you?” and we get so shocked when the person starts unpacking how they are…..
We say let’s do coffee…..and months later you never did.
We say “I’ll pray for you…..” and you know you don’t.

It is almost like we think we can just say the thing we think the other person needs to hear and that let’s us off the hook. We made them feel better…. Yay for us.

“To be honest”. This is a phrase I truly despise. I know it is an adverbial disjunct (the technical term for it), but its annoying. Should I conclude that unless you say “to be honest” that everything else you say is a lie?

Perhaps it is because I take my word seriously. I guess that is a challenge for someone out there. You can take me up on that. If I give a yes, I will do it.
And this filters into every level of communication for me. I am the most contactable person, you can pretty much get me on every platform, not 24/7 (yet lol).
Which describes my other irritation in life. Technology is not good for this frustration. You can see when a message is delivered as well as read. You can setup read receipts, and one wonders why people never respond.

You send out emails and no one responds. I can understand this maybe in a social setting, but businesses do this too. You come to a live chat and you just know this is an automated response because you type in a question and twiddle your thumbs for 15 mins and no answer.
Its mean, and demeaning.
Its not being a human.

We expect our wants and requests to be done….now, but we don’t give a rat’s behind for the next person’s wants or needs.

To be honest……I don’t think we know how anymore. To be honest I mean.

My rant is almost over (I have one a year okay).

I have calmed down on this over the years. I used to take people at their word, and boy its not healthy to do that hey.

My challenge to you, when you say something that is remotely a promise, try and do it. Just for a week. But really try it. Don’t let yourself off the hook.

the honest one

The Honest Truth

At first glance the honest truth sounds like redundancy, but I assure you its not. Honesty and truth are not the same thing.

Let me explain. When I was younger, I really believed that my parents never loved me. Honestly, if you had asked me then I would have said it with a straight face. And of course, because I believed that, all actions seemed to validate it. But it was not true, they really did love me, I just could not understand that they showed it differently to what I wanted or needed then.

Its what I call globalizing a local situation. You know what I mean?

A woman gets hurt my a man in a relationship and suddenly all men are dogs. Thats globalizing a local situation. The woman is taking an honest situation and building a truth out of it (for her anyway) and applying it to all. You get what I mean?
We all do it to a certain extent, when we get sick, suddenly it seems like we will be this way forever and we panic. But then we get better. Or maybe its just me, since I hate the doctor. Or even worse, the dentist, I have an ache and I reason how I will live with the pain (rather than have it seen to ha ha ha).

Honesty and truth are not the same thing. Truth is always true, honesty is dependent on our perception. We get it wrong so often and I hope people would understand the difference.

To the woman who has had her heart broken, yes he has hurt you, but its not true that all men are like that.

To the one who takes an honest look at their life and realise they do not like it, and want to end it because its too much for them to handle, don’t because its not true that you cannot make it through. Yes you are being honest, but it will change, all of life is not like this moment. Yes its just a moment. The moment is not worth taking your life.

Its not good to globalize what is local, or better put. Make permanent what is clearly temporary. Its not always good to build a life truth out of an honest situation, it might just be your perception of it.

If only we will learn that honesty and truth are not always the same thing………

thehonestone