Tag Archives: What women need

What women need…part 3

Here is the next one with a slightly different slant contributed by another young lady Heide, who refuses to start a blog. He he he no pressure at all hey…..

Safety
I think women need to know what creates safety for them. If a woman thinks it is money and an extremely handsome looking fella, then she must go find herself that man. I, however think it takes more than good looks and money (which by the way can easily disappear). The safety a woman needs, is a man settled in him and allowing the women to support him. Allowing her to be part of him. Are we not ultimately designed to be a man’s supporter? We come alongside a man and slot in with him. Therefore we need men that know who they are and what they are about. A man does not need to have everything figured out and have no failing areas. All I’m saying is that it is very easy to respect and support a man who knows himself and who is not easily tossed around by circumstances. Please don’t get me wrong, by this I do not mean a man is never allowed to hit a wobbly patch. In these times a woman needs to know that you trust her enough so that you can work through it together. You take the bad with the good.

It sort of looks to me trust=safety

Communication
So I already mentioned this. It is so important that a woman knows she is heard. This means granted the opportunity to speak to an attentive listener. Mostly problems miraculously disappear without fixing it if a man is truly in the conversation. I suppose good communication leads to the possibility of being understood. This means the world to a woman, that a man actually makes the effort of figuring her out.

Expressed appreciation
Women need to know that they are actually getting it right in supporting a man. A woman needs to know that a man sees the beauty in her and how she lives it out. The way it is expressed would look different for every woman.

Conclusion

I had no part in the description and I have copied it verbatim (barring of course certain greetings and so forth) Also a guy friend of mine said that he knows women to inherently want to improve their environment and this means they often want to change things> Men don’t always see it as improvement though and tend to think they want to change them. I don’t know hey, I suspect the ladies will comment and correct us here.

My thoughts, though I have many, I will only say this. I don’t think we can always have point forms in life about life. Sometimes we give and take more than we should.
But hey that’s life hey, it happens whether we ready or not.

Hope to check out your comments….

the Honest One

p.s this is the last time I give over the blog to women, shoo 3 posts on the same topic :)…..ha ha ha just kidding ladies, you are all welcome to write a guest blog post hey….let me know…

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What women need…part 2

Here we start the second part today (with one more left in this series)

Here we go, Leaan Delport part 2, in case you never checked out her blog you can find it here. I will step aside and just continue the post…

TO BE CHERISHED

So this is close to Love, but to be cherished is something deep and profound that is comes across in a man’s demeanour and way towards his girlfriend/wife. It comes across in the “small things” – possibly opening the door for a lady to walk first, the gentlemanly stuff you know, or making the effort to listen to the fine-print in her tone of voice to understand her and love her the way she desires to be loved. To us, these are HUGE things, not small at all. If your intentions are pure and you pay attention to this advice, you should have no problem having a humble, compliant and supportive lady at your side, permitted she is open to be loved. Love makes a lady supportive – that’s just how it works. A woman reflects a man’s way toward her wherever she goes.

TO BE AND FEEL SECURE

When a woman says “yes” to any form of romantic relationship, she is saying “yes, I will let you love me and lead me, I will trust you with my heart”. This is a daunting thing. Areas she would’ve managed or tried to manage herself in her life now becomes open to his leadership and way. This is something that needs to be realized and handled with care on the male’s side; this privilege is to be cherished. Please NEVER take a woman’s trust in you for granted. Treat it carefully, treat her trust and belief in you like a precious jewel, keep it safe, honor her. Commitment from the male towards her is one thing that adds to the security she feels in the relationship. Providing (though this is not summed up in finances these days like in the past, it’s more a state of being, providing as a male figure in things only the male figure can – leadership, decision-making awareness, responsibility for his actions (or for the family possibly), etc. A woman needs to feel cared for and feels secure when she knows she is cared for, this is affirmed by a male’s actions and words towards her in this regard. Feeling secure comes in during those times when there are challenges from outside the relationship and the lady has trusted you with the main leadership aspect. It is important to talk about such things, communicate mutual fears and comfort and encourage each other (be a team). This makes her (and you also) feel secure in the face of adversity. Neglecting to communicate at such times is often to the detriment of many relationships.

I hope I have communicated some of the essentials of what women need appropriately.

(End of part two)

As always please comment.

the Honest One

What women need……drum roll……

I know its been a while since I posted anything, but it seemed a bit silly to just write what men need and not have a post about what women need.
So I decided to go live among a colony of only women to get an idea as to what exactly goes on in there lives and minds (and then I woke up and realised it was a dream) ha ha ha, just kidding.

Rather than try and reinvent the wheel I got a young lady to explore and write her thoughts down. She is also a blogger and her blog can be found here. Also some of the post will be from other contributors too (also women). So brace yourself, this might be longer than normal (since women do talk more than men). Here Goes…

What Women need ( by a woman )

I hardly consider myself an expert on the subject and I believe we’re all learning and growing in this grace as we go along. Nonetheless, I am part of a circle of family and friends with many of whom I believe to be successful in relationships with the opposite sex – many having been married for numbers of years and still enjoying and very much in love with their partners (pple in their 40’s and 50’s married longer than 10 years holding hands and kissing boldly in malls). Included in my circle are younger people like myself who I consider to be wise.

Consequently I put together a post combining what I believe to be the essentials of what this topic includes with the help of some female friends and role models in my life. I hope you are encouraged, blessed and enriched and also challenged as you read it.

LOVE

So that’s a no-brainer…although it cannot be stressed enough. The trick here is linked to the beautiful contextual question: What does love look like?
Most of us are familiar with the concept of love languages and that each person has one or two love languages (or more). These love languages refer to ways in which they understand they are loved and are usually the same ways in which they communicate their love for others. I’d like to use an example from some people very close to me and their relationship and a quote from a dear friend and role model. When this couple got married – the husband initiated the following activity. He suggested that both of them write a list of ‘love-acts’ they understand and would enjoy or feel appreciated with. Amongst the things the lady wrote, there was I like to receive flowers, I like to receive small love letters in unexpected places, etc. Of course the husband also compiled his list and you can imagine the broad outline of it I’m sure..hehe. They still continue to fulfill each others desires and needs in this way to this day and have been happily married for 35 years – so there’s something to be said for open communication. Anyway, they had quite a literal approach and this isn’t particularly my style – though it is the principal of loving your partner in the way that they understand and feel appreciated by, which is beneficial.

The wife’s words were: As a woman, you need someone who makes you feel like a queen who will communicate with you on an emotional, spiritual and intellectual level, that will bring you flowers often and write you love letters, songs and poetry if he can, someone who often treats you to dinners (doesn’t have to be fancy, its the thought or personal touch that counts). Then you’re emotional tank will be full and it will also be easy for you to fulfill his needs. He must be a true companion that honors you in public, not embarrass you. He must be able to provide well and take the lead in the relationship and decisions, but with love.

End of part one

For today I will end it here and for the next 2 posts will continue the topic.
Oh and to clarify, love languages refers to a book that the guy explained that we all give and experience love according to a type of “language”. This is why sometimes people miss each other completely. We tend to give in the way we want to receive and not all people speak the same ” language”
Enough said.

Next post we shall continue

the Honest One