Monthly Archives: October 2013

Audit on your words

We have become a very flippant society….

With regard to words I mean.

“Chat later”………. when we have no intention of chatting later.

“How are you”……. as we walk away from the person……

“I love you”….. but at the first sign of trouble we are out of there….

“We care for you”……….. But no one listens to you

“It is not about us”………… but every thing is about us.

“Yes I will”….. but you have no intention of complying with the agreement.

We don’t listen to ourselves anymore do we?

I struggle to give a yes to people, and I get accused of being a negative, grumpy person. All because I am one of those strange people that seems to think that my words count. If I say yes, then I need to follow that with an action.

Therefore my unwillingness to just throw an answer is not me being unhelpful, it is me calculating whether I can follow through on my promise.

Every end of the day I do an audit on my words (or promises). I do miss some of them, I am getting old now and my memory is not what it used to be. But I respond, reply, sms, email when I can and if the query warrants a response.

I cannot handle being left hanging and biting my nails for an answer on things, and therefore I do not want people on the other end of the line ever feeling that I am doing that to them.

I have also come to the conclusion in life that people say many things to each other, but ultimately they live and act what they really believe to be true. The old saying that “action speaks louder than words” is very true indeed.

But more so our actions really do actually reflect what we believe. You cannot say you love someone and never listen to them…never walk with them…never bear with them…. Of course it does depend on your definition of what love is, but I am sure you get what I am saying.

It seems so simple or insignificant when we dismiss these simple responses to people. To simply brush off the simple commitment we made to someone. No need to let them know. They will never take note.

But it is a slippery slope we get onto when we ignore the small slips. “It is the little foxes that destroy the vines”. Great falls never start as great slips. They are almost always a result of small little slips along the way, chipping away at your sanity and integrity.

Do an audit on your words, maybe not everyday. But start…..

If you have children, I think they will do it for you….. “But you said so daddy….”

The simplicity of keeping your word, maybe it will make you use less of them. Maybe just maybe it will improve the quality of your friendships.

“That guy/gal, they always come through for me”.

Do an audit on your words…… It will help everyone around you.

thehonestone

 

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One Day

 

One day we will live in a world where people respect each other for who they are…

One day we will live in a world where people are honest with each other…….

One day we will live in a world where the truth is a celebrated state…

One day we will live in a world where life is cherished and not treated as a means to an end for some…

One day young women will realise that they should focus on who they are rather than try and grab attention of the young fool she thinks she wants………

One young men will learn to live their lives and develop some character rather than chase skirts all day long……..

One day the work place will be only for people who come there to work and not to deal with their issues that are unresolved from high school……

One day we shall see the value in people and things and realise that certain things are just not that important…….

One day governments will realise that they exist because of “the people”, not the other way around…..

One day the business world will grow a conscience, and realise that certain things are crimes against the greater good of humanity….

One day the people of this world will realise that whether we like it or not we are all connected and one. No matter how hard we try to create separations via race, tribe, class, economic state, language, country, religion, politics…… We simply cannot get away that we need each other….

One day churches will actually love people….Not a means to “build a kingdom”….

One day thieves will realise the true damage they do when they take stuff from others…..

One day the rapist will see the type of torture they inflict on their victims….

One day we will see how our decisions affect others…

One day people will get married for the right reasons and when they are grown up…

One day idiots will be called out…

One day………………………..

 

 

Now you can make that today……

 

thehonestone

 

The fading glow….

It has been a while….. Seems like forever, therefore I reckon it is fitting to start with this post…..

Out of sight is out of mind is the general way we live. We have literally hundreds of things trying to grab our attention daily. And our time is limited and we plod along.

If I don’t see a person for a long time, I don’t specifically think about them. And I am sure if I asked you to recall from memory even the people you see every day, you would struggle.

I know I do. But what about the one’s we want to spend time with. How quickly we forget even their faces. We tend to remember people by our memory of them rather than the reality isn’t it. It is why face to face is always better.

To demonstrate this, it has been proven that in a live audio environment without training and discipline, that once you walk away from the one side to the other side you would have forgotten what the other side sounds like. Heavy hey….. you actually actively have to train yourself to do this.

Now that is just a simple example. What about life and relationships. What hope do we have with the people we care about?

I also find sometimes that listening is hard to do…. I often formulate my answers to the “questions” while the other person is talking.

Terrible hey. We struggle to focus and listen. Kudos to you if you have developed this in life.

I guess my point today is……….. it takes effort to listen and discipline and it takes focused effort and discipline to maintain quality relationships in life.

 

They are not automatic. And you can get automated systems to build up your twitter following and facebook likes and all that, but how many will stay once you start to share who you are?

At our weekly meeting I commented (yes I even do that in real life) when someone was reading the “Give us today our daily bread” yes “Give us our daily bread, not our monthly shopping”.

 

There is a wisdom in that. Give us only what we need for today so we can focus on now…

 

More Accurate Than an Atomic Watch

 

So we do not take the everyday things for granted….. the fading glow of the face to face….

thehonestone