Monthly Archives: April 2012

What men need……..

I have been toying around the idea of writing a post about what men need to look for in women….

I could not get to grips with writing it without creating a war with women. Its strictly for guys eyes only. And since the internet allows everyone to peruse info, and I am sure the ladies would read it either way.

So the only way I reckon it can work, is if the guys out there want that info, let me know via comments and I will email it to you. Should you take me up on the offer, well then keep it to your self hey, no need to let our secrets out of the bag.

Anyway that’s not what I chose to write the post about today. These days there is simply no shortage of books, articles, blogs about what men and women want. But upon reflection I realised………it was due to the current “me focused” culture that we have that big question. So far be it for me to add to the vast amounts of drivel in the wild west of relationship advice. I think the more pertinent question should be, “What do we need?”

Relationships seems to have denigrated into what we get out of them, and therefore we tend to look at what we want out of it. There is nothing wrong per say in wanting stuff. But I think the focus and initial thought should be, What do we bring into it?

Seems fairly minor hey, but it shifts the focus and responsibility. If I express what I need, it absolves the other person from having to provide it for me. When I want something, it demands it from the person the want is made known to.
Now that I got that cleared, since I am a man I wanted to express what I think men need…..

I cannot stress that enough. Men need to be respected for who they are. I suppose I should throw this one in here….most men know their failing areas. THEY DO NOT NEED IT SHOUTED OVER A LOUD HAILER.
****News flash****, no matter how one nags, it never produces the results desired or in the time frame desired. Bribe the man or use your clever wily ways rather, but nagging helps nothing at all.

We appear strong and independent, but really we are in need of constant support. There is something that is switched on in a man, when he is supported by the woman in his life (I mean the genuine kind and not the support “because that is what you are supposed to do”)

Food er, um, er well we all know the other one hey (since this blog is kiddy friendly I won’t say it aloud…hint (yes it is the 3 letter word you thinking of right now)

He he he, I had to throw that one in there. Enough said

Belief Faith

We need people to believe us and in us. I cannot express how much it means to us when our dreams are believed and helped (especially by a wife/girlfriend/female friend). When its brought out in a way only a woman can…..


I guess this is a foregone conclusion. But it depends on how love is expressed. Men need to know that people are there for them. We go to hilarious lengths to ensure that this exists in our lives. I will point out the ridiculous antics guys get up to and bets they make with other guys.


There is not much more to say other than there is no real secrets, mostly what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG) and what we say is generally what we mean. There are no “other meanings” behind what we say. When we go for coffee, we go drink coffee.
We are very simplistic beings and therefore I will not continue to drag out a topic that is explained in full already ha ha ha.

My aim here is for us to forget what “we want”. And to realise that we need to bring something to the table rather. And on that note I will leave you to ponder on this…..

I do however leave a space open for a woman to submit a “what women need” here. You can email it to me and I will post it for you or if you blog you can send me a link and I will send it out. Fair enough.

Because in relationships there are always 2 sides hey 🙂

***DISCLAIMER***When I say secrets in the early parts of the post, they refer to the stuff men know about women and not secrets that men have. The secrets that men know about women but will never let them know what it is that they know.

the Honest One

Connecting the Dots….

We have become a society filed with experts. In almost every field you can think of. We have dream specialists, medical specialists (in every part of the body). We have scientist covering every aspect of the world we see and don’t see. We have space specialists, technical, practical, creative, admin, HR, you name it……..

Yet at the same time we have a very individualistic culture (in the west I mean). And yet with all these experts, we still find ourselves lost and alone sometimes. We still have unknowable stuff out there.

Let me explain it this way. If we go into the medical field alone. And for argument sake we go to a dentist. When the dentist gives you advice he/she will only comment on your teeth (because that is his/her specialty).
Likewise if you go to a heart surgeon, I highly doubt that he/she would comment on your teeth. Since that is not their focus in life.
And I could go on, but I am sure you get what I am saying. Its also quite normal to be referred to a few specialists depending on the severity and uniqueness of your case. Thus when a diagnosis is given there is quite a footprint in the wake of the diagnosis and not always by the initial doctor.

I guess my question is….Is that right? I mean our body is a complex symbiotic living organism. I doubt that just looking at your teeth (by the dentist) tells the full story of how your teeth ended up in the predicament you are in.

Now before the doctors (and nurses) start jumping down my throat. I do have a point (somewhere here). If we go back a few decades, it was not uncommon for the town doctor to cover all aspects of the people they treated. And they were quite good, since they had a long term relationship with their patients. Also they looked at the entire person and could draw on the historical knowledge.

I am well aware of course that our current situation is way more sophisticated now and we can do much more with better results (sometimes).

What I wanted to focus on today is the disconnect we often find in life. We often have a problem and we stop everything in life to deal with that problem. But like in the specialist climate we become “specialists” in that area and forgetting that this problem is a small part of the bigger body of life that we are in.

I think a lot of our problems in life can simply be solved by connecting the dots. Where seemingly unrelated things can maybe bring the very unclear things into perspective for us.

Like in the medical industry now, I think if we could consolidate some fields and look at things holistically….we could maybe solve some problems and discrepancies.

Just a thought……….

the Honest One