Monthly Archives: October 2012


It took me many years to accept the man in the mirror (I could not resist phrasing it like that, okay)

I am sure you get what I mean. To accept that I am okay with me. And we never really realise how simple, but important that is.

We all need that simple question answered as a base from which we operate. Who am I? Am I okay? Am I good enough? Will I be accepted?

Normally those are solved at home, but not all of us are so fortunate…. So we leave home every day with a loaded gun (okay so that’s a bit over dramatic). What I mean is, we leave our home expecting everybody to answer that questions for us. It loads the friendships, relationships with a weight before it even begins.
Its a lose lose situation, because no one but the person in the mirror can answer it.
And we need the safe space from which to live from, if unanswered this question will cause havoc in your life.

I am not proposing you should ‘fake it till you make it”. But you cannot expect your sense of self and value be determined solely from other people or external means. It all starts with the one on the mirror. Are you okay with you?

No one can answer that for you hey, or let me rephrase….no one should be answering that for you. It will rob you of the full person you are.

We cannot possibly know everything about ourselves, but any wrong road we take stems from not accepting who we are. We always work from that base, yet very few take the time to actually ask and answer the question, Who am I?

So who are you?

That is the million dollar question is it not???

Certainly not what I think, but the only one that stops us from living fully is ourselves and who we see in the mirror…..

the Honest One

The final post here…..

Hello all (and maybe good bye to some although I hope not).

This is the final post that I am putting on
In no way am I quitting my blog, it has moved to

The latest post is

It was a good run here, but I felt it time to move it to a hosted site in order to have full control over the functionality of certain things.
It has proven rather precarious, but if you bear with me and let me know if there are problems I will sort them out. I can always be reached by email

I hope you will all move with me, unfortunately it does mean you have to resubscribe at the new address.
In fact, I can add you from my end, but you would just have to click confirm in the email sent to you. Unfortunately for subscribers there is no way I can add you from my end.

As for the email subscribers, lookout for a mail from thehonestone and click confirm and you should be good to go, obviously only if you want to. If you no longer want to be subscribed simply do nothing and you will not receive future posts.

Thank you all for reading, see you on the other side…..

the Honest One


I think one of the greatest ills of our world comes in the form of one word. DISREGARDED. Have you ever felt that?

Let me give an example…..One day at one of the previous churches I used to frequent, there were some international pastors visiting and it was the duty of one of my friends to entertain the one from (who knows where now). Bear in mind that in the church I was one of the sound people (yep I know hey at work and church). Anyway I happened to walk past her and the pastor, and she stops and introduces the pastor to me and as I pass she says “He is………nothing, just a sound person”.
I am not one to take offense easily or from people in church (because contrary to popular belief they actually inflict more trauma than most others) but I walked away felling quite disregarded as a human I mean. I know she meant I was not a pastor, but I am not a nothing. And I know the woman well. We were and we still are good friends (that’s right I am not a petty person)

The situation just spoke volumes to me. It made me really look into my life and question what I consider important.
Do I walk around classifying people and assigning worth to them according to what they do?
I don’t think I do that intentionally anymore. To me we are all human and we have value. That’s got absolutely nothing to do with what you do.

And jumping on that bit for a moment. I am not sure if you ever noticed, but as humans we have a terminal illness, call it a deficiency. It seems we are incapable of recognizing greatness or true value when its right in front of us.
Look in history…..Galileo was discarded for his view that the world was round (who questions that anymore)
Martin Luther King assassinated now there is a Martin Luther King day.
Jesus was crucified with barely a few people in support of Him. Look today every Tom Dick and Harry are making gospel CD’s and wanting to be christian (okay that’s an exaggeration but you get what I mean)

I am not saying all people have this sickness, but with most of humanity hindsight seems to be the only way we recognize real beauty and greatness, real value.

If you suffer from that, well its mostly your loss is it not? If we cannot see real value and beauty at the time that it happens then we as a race will suffer greatly. We will be forced to destroy anything that does not comply with our current paradigm, we will ridicule what is different, we will lose the ability to change.

I suppose my question is, do you value all people regardless of what they do? Do you recognize greatness even when the people are not doing the stuff in an area you normally assign to greatness?

the Honest One

Reality bytes….

I am not sure if you noticed, but these days very few things are live…
I mean that in the broadest sense. Television, music, shows, etc….

Pretty much everything has some prepared sense to it. I am not saying that planning is not a good thing, its just I am not sure that we are all aware how planned life is.
We will leave very little to just happen.
I wonder sometimes if it’s a matter of control. We cannot control what we don’t know, so we try to account for everything. I suppose an accounting firm or auditing firm would love that, but how can any company make strides forward by trying to account for everything?

Take for example Felix Baumgartner ( I am sure we all know what he did on sunday). It took many years to prepare, but what happened once he jumped could not be scripted, we could simply watch it unfold.

I also know the maxim, “If we fail to plan, we plan to fail”. Its true, but real success sometimes is only achieved by failing forward (as they say). We really cannot….or should I say we really don’t have control over much and sometimes we just need to let things happen.

Even reality TV is not really reality. Live shows are not all that live.

Obviously one should throw the baby out with the bath water, but I guess you get what I mean?

Though we plan, we cannot control all things, therefore we should always have the freedom to “let things happen”. Call it a watch and wait approach before casting a final judgement on what works or does not.

the Honest One

Coming back to life soon

Hi all

I know I have been a bit quiet. Well its coming to an end soon.

Also the blog will be moving away from I have been fighting it out in the backend, but its coming together slowly.

It will be (because I am in South Africa I thought it best to go with the

I will give a holler when its closer to live time, but I could not resist harassing you guys with a tiny post….

Until then………

the Honest One