Monthly Archives: June 2015

The things we hate

Defining things in life are few and far between.

But pretty much all defining moments have intense feelings around them. Either we come across something that we truly hate, or something we cannot do without. It forces us to decide.

Throughout my life, I have lived on both ends. Loving it all, hating it all. Finding middle ground was never my strength in life. Fortunately people appear in life at the right time. I can get carried away in life, but there are some good friends in my life that keep me on planet earth. And quite willing to point out my short comings. Lol, we all need those right?

The things we hate in life, they force us to action. Or I hope not, inaction, defeat, giving up.

I have shared this before, but it was 1998 and I was caught up in the drug scene, and for most part of it I was happy in it. Until I started questioning. I wanted to know if this was it? Was this life? I sat there (okay I paced around) and all the things played around with me. I would amount to nothing, my life was over, I had failed, I was a 20 year old druggie. I would end up homeless, my studies was going nowhere, I worked at pick n pay. Somedays they sent me home because I was not fit to work. And the amount of days I worked while high or drunk was…. well I cannot count them.

druggie

I started to hate what was in front of me.

I am not telling you this to depress you, though I am sure I was depressed then. It made me decide to make a change. Granted a few experiences with God and people helped. I was the one that had to make the decision to walk away from everything I knew at that time.

It took the hatred of the situation to create a space for change.

Is there something you hate that much?

What is going on in your life now? Are you aware of the feelings running around in you? Does something you hate in life cause you to want to run away?

Face it. You will run forever until you learn to face it head on. Jumping back to when I decided to change direction in life, it took well over 4 months to work through and find some sort of definitive answer for myself.

My point is that, what seems negative is not always bad for us. Hating a situation can be good for us. As long as it inspires change.

Have you ever wondered how out of the same household some people succeed and the other sibling will flounder in life?

I can with certainty say it has to do with how one deals with defining moments. How one manages those itense moments in life.

Do you cower under pressure or do you rise to the occasion and face it head on.
Running in front of a raging bull is not wise, so pick your battles. Small ones first.

the honest one

The Things we Love

Letting go is never easy……

It was about 2 and a half years ago. At that time I was about to enter a very disconcerting situation. It would be my 10th year at the theatre I was employed at. I was unsettled….
I had never been involved with anything for 10 years other than my family at that time.
Also due to the fact I had applied to move into sales and I was offered the job.

Conflicted……..confused…..a bit out of my comfort zone…. Will I succeed? Will I fail? I used to wake up in cold sweats hearing voices that I will be in financial ruin…..
I decided to take the leap. I left what was most certainly a stable job with all benefits, to a job with little certain future no benefits and a cut in pay.

Was I successful? Depends on who you ask ha ha ha. The company would say no (well at least the immediate result would be a fail since sales is about the now and now only). I lasted about a year there. I am now a free lance engineer and have my own company. Life is not easy, and had to make some tough choices and really had to let go of a few things in life.

Am I happier? Yes a thousand times yes. Do I stress? Yes a million times yes. But it took me a long time to get there, but I did it.

The art of living life, and it is an art, is about finding the real you.
Underneath all the crap that we get taught by either bad experiences or clueless people in our lives.

It is my opinion and observation in life that most of us are not doing what we really want to do. Or let me state it this way….most of us are not doing what we are meant to do.

Why not? Because of the things we love….. Now please do not go tossing out the people in your life (though a few not being there could help the cause). I digress, or progress however you may see it.

We love nice things in our lives, we like being able to buy flat screens,smart phones, cars, houses, clothes, perfume, music, movies, the list can go on.

My question is, how many things in life do we actually need? And what are we working towards? Are the things you love really holding you captive?

things we love

I watched a program once called hoarders. When they asked the one guy why he never threw stuff away. He held onto the thing in his hand hugging it saying “No one ever stays, they always leave”. We can so easily judge a hoarder, because we see what they live in. But most people hoard, and shy away from making decisions. We don’t let go so easily do we?
It’s sad to see and by this I include myself. I struggle to let go of the things I think I need/want that may not be good for me. And more than likely they are, but my intense grip of it sometimes causes the opposite effect that the things are intended for. We need to look up, away, forward, sometimes into the past. But let me not get away from the main point here.

We are meant to be and do great things in life. Yet when we look around, can we really say that is true in life. Its easier to live it via other people, they can sing, talk, run, live so much better than you right??

We are meant to live our purpose, but most of us have killed that inner voice that whispers your dream into your ear when its silent. We run away from silence and kill it with stuff, we kill it with the wrong crowd. With noise basically.
We put on that plaster of living a good life, having the bond, the car the kids, and we sooth ourselves with the idea that we can be okay in the doldrums of life. No ups or downs just calmness. We don’t really learn anything we just exist.

We learned early that chasing mountain tops don’t bode well for us, we therefore flattened it for ourselves, no mountains no valleys.

Hardship and troubles are needed…..

Without them we simply will never grow, but reducing them or removing them causes so much unseen damage. Well unseen in the sense that you may never know what life was really meant to be.
Its why concerts are full, church pews are over filled, companies have endless lists of employees eager to work for less than the current ones, why people are so unhappy with their jobs.

WE ARE WILLING TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE SOMEHOW BETTER THAN US.

They are not, they just decided not to settle for second best in their life. I cannot accept it anymore, the lies and excuses I hear on a daily basis. And that is what it is, excuses and blatant lies. You are not meant for a comfortable life, you are not meant to just coast by.

AND YES IT MEANS YOU, YOU not anyone else. They not reading here, you are.

My question again, is the things you love keeping you from the things you are really meant to be involved in.

What are the things you love……

Have I accomplished all I wanted to? No. I am working out the other things I want to do. But I wanted to press some buttons in your life.

Don’t settle for anything less than what you meant to be and do. If you do fail, fail forward.

Now finding your purpose, well that is a story for another day……

the honest one

The cost of freedom

Freedom we would assume to mean “free” from rules and limits and basically meaning we are able to do whatever we think we need to do.

After all we are free.
freedom

Now let me tell a story.

In the bible in acts 3, we see Peter and John walking to the temple and man that was lame all his life begged the 2 guys for money. We all know Peter and John’s response….. They said silver and gold we do not have, but what we have we give to you. They gave him healing and he got up and walked and was free of his disability.
Amazing, yay for Jesus.

Did you ever think about the healed man the next day? Now I am not diminishing the miracle, it was a miracle and it was amazing to the man. He could not disagree God had healed him and he was free and willing to talk to anyone about it.

But here is a guy that had been lame all his life and suddenly when all was said and done….. He had to work for a living now. He could not beg anymore (who really would support and feel sorry for a healthy person capable of working?)

Its now that we realise that being free has consequences. What do we do with ourselves? Yes he can walk, he can move around from place to place, but now he has to become a contributing member in society.

I think this is pretty much an issue we sit with in humanity. We want to be free, we want our own businesses, we want to follow our dreams…. We don’t want to have bosses, we…..

My question is, are you willing to pay the price for freedom. Freedom has a cost. It will cost you time and effort and dedication, commitment, sweat and tears.

Freedom does allow you to be able to do the things that you want to do, but its not automatic and there are rules/principles. E.G. If you want to be homeless and have no bills, you can. But if you want to live in a house and own it, then there are bills like electricity (when there is no load shedding), water, the bond, etc…. You get the point. Life is no different. The concept of freedom does not make you free. You have a part to play in using the freedom and working it in your favour.

Added to this, I don’t freedom is completely self indulgent. I believe that there should be at least some form of selflessness attached to the freedom we have/desire. Even from an early age if you are paying attention in life, you will realise that your life affects others. We cannot just think about ourselves, our friends, our families, our…. Which really is just an extension of mine, mine, mine……
We do not live in an isolated vacuum devoid of connecting to others.

We need to take ownership, you want to start a business…..good you can, but it will take work, research and committment. Faith and belief and generally will stress you out like no other, but its worth it in the long run.

Make it your mission in life to take responsibility and take ownership, even if you don’t own it now. Others are also depending on you.

the honest one