Tag Archives: self image


It took me many years to accept the man in the mirror (I could not resist phrasing it like that, okay)

I am sure you get what I mean. To accept that I am okay with me. And we never really realise how simple, but important that is.

We all need that simple question answered as a base from which we operate. Who am I? Am I okay? Am I good enough? Will I be accepted?

Normally those are solved at home, but not all of us are so fortunate…. So we leave home every day with a loaded gun (okay so that’s a bit over dramatic). What I mean is, we leave our home expecting everybody to answer that questions for us. It loads the friendships, relationships with a weight before it even begins.
Its a lose lose situation, because no one but the person in the mirror can answer it.
And we need the safe space from which to live from, if unanswered this question will cause havoc in your life.

I am not proposing you should ‘fake it till you make it”. But you cannot expect your sense of self and value be determined solely from other people or external means. It all starts with the one on the mirror. Are you okay with you?

No one can answer that for you hey, or let me rephrase….no one should be answering that for you. It will rob you of the full person you are.

We cannot possibly know everything about ourselves, but any wrong road we take stems from not accepting who we are. We always work from that base, yet very few take the time to actually ask and answer the question, Who am I?

So who are you?

That is the million dollar question is it not???

Certainly not what I think, but the only one that stops us from living fully is ourselves and who we see in the mirror…..

the Honest One

My Defense for South Africa……

When one has a low self image, everybody has better everything than you. Better eyes, hair, legs, feet, face, car, house, job……(fill in the blanks)
Its almost like trying to come up for air when under water, and you manage to just gasp some air for a moment and then you are forced down again, to fight and repeat the process without relief.

I know this because I used to suffer from it myself. I say suffer because that is what it feels like. Everyone else is okay, but I am not, in almost every situation.

South Africans in general (by this I mean the majority) don’t seem to support each other when it comes to ability to do something. I could just direct your attention to our music sales in the country. All music from abroad sells, our artists struggle to survive. Few make it into the full time music industry. The reason?

We do not support our artists because we believe they are not as good as the artists abroad. We believe, somehow that everyone across the ocean is better than what we hear right here. This does not just apply to music, it applies in the film arena, most careers too. Churches there are “better” than here. Anybody with a different accent suddenly gets our attention….

Most young adults simply want to get out of the country and work overseas….. as if that makes it so much more different than working here..

But getting back to the story on top, don’t you think it sounds the same. Its a low self image on a national scale. Everybody is better than us.

I mean let’s be honest, yes our government does some really strange things, they definitely do not know what they doing all the time. But does the States? I am sure if you follow the news then you will know what debt concerns the States has. They do not have it altogether.

The Euro Zone, most certainly do not have it all right either. I can go on and on here. The Australians don’t have it altogether either. All countries have their problems.

We know that, yet somehow we think that they got it so much better there than here. You know the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” and I am sure you have heard the rebuttal “but the water bill is so much higher there”.

Yes we have high crime stats, yes we have issues in racial areas still, yes our quality of life is not up to standard comparing to the international levels. Yes we have low bars for our education, yes we have lots of areas which are covered by informal settlements….

But our real problem is that we have yet to see our true value. We as a country simply suffer from a poor self image.

How do we fix it? Well how does an individual fix it? Its called a self image, therefore only you can do something about that. Stop believing the lies that we are not good enough.

We have the skills, the capabilities, the intelligence, the passion, the resources, the talent, the character, the ability…. Its just seems we are the last to see it.

So there in a nutshell is my defense for our country.

Just remember, every country presents their best foot forward. They also have their issues. So if you want to leave here because you have issues with how its done here….guess what…. You will have issues there too. Even worse, because you will be the foreigner.

And our music, film and arts industry is quite good. Granted its a small one, but hey, we have to start somewhere don’t we?

What are your thoughts on this?