Monthly Archives: August 2011

What type of con are you?

We are all cons.

Now that I have your attention. Let me explain.

There are 2 types of cons in the world.

A Consumer

and a…….

A Contributor

I would go as far as to say that those 2 categories apply to all areas in life.
With regards to work, play, relationships, church, family, friends, love, etc…..

A consumer is someone who uses things to their own benefit. Which we all do to some degree. But what I am referring to is someone who this description seems to define them. They only look out for “numero uno” and even use people to get what they want.
They even walk into a relationship with someone to get something from them.

A contributor on the other hand is someone that brings something to the table. They do not expect others to “solve them”. They bring something to everything. In a relationship they know they have value and can add value.

Which are you?

thehonestone

Sheepwalking

Seth Godin defines sheepwalking as the “outcome of hiring people who have been raised to be obedient and giving them a braindead job and enough fear to keep them in line”.

I write today to the South African people and companies, I am sure other countries suffer from this too. But today I wanted to focus on us in the good old S.A.
Its something that we seem to suffer from here, we struggle to think for ourselves. And its not a race issue, we all do it here in South Africa. Its not an education thing either, even the most brilliant minds sit in for all intensive terms, in cults and brainless employment.

Innovation and creativity, seems to wane from our lives because we simply “do as we are told”. I really am not sure where it stems from, but South Africans rarely question anything. I know that is a general statement and not all people are that way inclined. But most generalisations are generally true (ha ha ha), you know what I mean.

I am just saying that we tend to keep it the way we received it. Which is okay, if we are drones and zombies. The generation before us got us to here, but we have our own race to run. We cannot look at things only the way it was done and handed to us.

We need to acknowledge what was done before and build from there. But that requires some form of creativity and innovation. Those 2 words never developed from people who “do as they are told”.

Companies and even churches are not looking for people who think different and think for themselves. They want obedient people. And that normally means the people who don’t question.
We have discarded the thinkers and developers and innovators for “those who obey authority”. Which sometimes is just a cover for a compliant person who refuses to mess with the status quo. Of course there are disruptive people, but they are just that, disruptive whether they think or don’t think, they have decided what they are already. You should apply wisdom and recognize that when it comes up.

Is that really what you see for your life? Do you really just want to be a sheepwalker?

I know Jesus said we should be like sheep and His sheep know His voice.

But I do not recall him saying that we should become sheep and lose our brain. Also when, ever did He apply that analogy to anything outside of His relationship to His followers? Did Jesus say follow your boss like a sheep? Did Jesus give the right to pastors to treat you like their own personal sheep? Think about that for a moment…….

I know I am sounding harsh, but how can one say this with a soft tone?

All truths and beliefs should be open to be challenged even if they are age old. Simply because they are new to you when you come across them and you should be able to know what life is about for yourself.

Don’t be a lemming.

I will leave you today with a video clip, by the one who I see as a true prophet of our day.
Click here

thehonestone

When a 5 equals a 10……

I have to admit, I watch rom coms, its my flaw in life okay…………. I cannot help it that I like comedies and if it has the romantic touch it does not bother me.

But I watched “She’s out of my league” the other day. I told you I watched Rom Coms. It was hilarious, I was cracking myself up. Yes it was one of those movies where you can crack yourself up all on your own.

I will try and not spoil the movie for you in case you have not seen it yet. But basically an airport attendant manages to find himself involved with a girl that is really beautiful and career oriented (in his own estimation).

So he ends up at an ice hockey game on a double date, but at this stage he is completely unaware that it is a date. But what struck me about this part of the movie is that he was completely himself, until he realised that this was a date and the girl was interested in him.

Suddenly all the questions filled his mind, and the friends he had were not helping. They then applied the grading system assuming that she was a 10, then he must be a 5.

The rest of the movie is simply the guy grappling with his difficulty in accepting that she was wanting to be with him.

That’s not what i want to focus on really, but when he had no idea he was on a date. He was not too concerned about what she thought. It is this that I want to focus on. Why are we so concerned about what other people think?

Why suddenly, was this guy comparing and doing calculations and trying to solve the riddle.

I tend to be the same, when no one in particular cares what I am doing, I go about my business. Suddenly someone comes along and notices, suddenly I am wondering what they thinking.

But back to the movie, the very things that the guy feared came true and they broke it off. Let me not go further so as to at least maintain some sort of mystery in the movie.

But point being the very thing we fear tends to come true, not because it was meant to be so, but because we focus on it.
If we are told we are a “5” and start to believe it, and then focus on it and ponder, well we will become and start acting like that 5. When a “10” comes along we reason our way out of there.

So how does a 5 equal a 10?

Don’t make those comparisons. There are no “5”s and “10”s. There is only what you think of yourself and others. No one is forcing you there, we put ourselves there.

No one is out of your league, unless you think so……

thehonestone

That One Thing

I have been around a while, and in different environments too. Be it the club life, church life, school life, college life, relationship life, engaged life, single life….. And if I were to look at that all and see the common thing in all of those experiences and in my own life, is this…….

That one thing.

That one thing…. you know what I mean? That one thing that keeps you from what you want to do, the one thing that prevents everything from moving, that one thing that stops your relationship dead in its tracks. The one thing that stops the whole church from being free, the one thing that stops you from achieving your dream, that one thing that stops you, that one thing……… And we reason that it was that one thing that toppled the everything else.

There may be some validity to that belief, but I think its not really true. I do not for one minute think that it is the one thing we put our finger on and reason that, that is the reason for our not being able to do whatever or the reason for the downfall of the ……. It’s almost like we compartmentalize our lives and view it like all different sections as we grow up. There is childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age. And we treat each area like its mutually exclusive from each other.

And likewise we view our different areas in life that we are involved with, as separate. We think our church life is separate from our work life, which is separate from our family life, which is in turn separate from our friend life. I know we all don’t do that, but we do to some degree compartmentalize don’t we? There is a condition that so perfectly describes this actions being separated into completely unrelated events. Autism, yes that is in simplest description what autistic people experience.
They view every action as a completely separate event and do not connect the dots. So somebody being beaten could appear as funny to an autistic person, because although they see the whole event, every action taken is viewed as a separate occurrence. Anyway, just thought I would throw that one in the mix.

What I was saying earlier is that its not true that its any one thing that keeps us from moving forward, onward, upward. Its because we simply refuse to understand that everything is interconnected. And that this one thing that we focus on (like a zit) and magnify, is simply the result of everything behind it.
So that one thing, that one thing that brings your relationship with someone to its knees (in a bad way) is not just the thing that you reason it to be, its everything that got you to here right now.

I hope you are still with me, if we get that, I promise you will have a much better life.

When we realise that all areas of our lives are connected and not separate from each other, we will realise that no one thing can rob us from what we are meant to live and be doing

Don’t let that one thing grab your focus, allow yourself to look at the bigger picture and the one thing you focus on will be put in perspective. NO “one thing” can bring down or stop anything, its always a series of events and experiences.

thehonestone

The Minimalist

I am by no means a minimalist…..and I mean that in the broader sense of the word. If you looked at my life you would more likely see the phrase “Go Big or Go Home”, especially when related to my mistakes in life. Monumentalist is more likely what you could call me.

That said, there are areas where I do the bare minimum, it is with that sentiment in mind that I refer the phrase minimalist to. Not the current trend of less is more.

Minimalist – One who does the bare minimum in a particular area or overall (thehonestone’s dictionary)

Doing the bare minimum requires a certain type of thought process. When its towards yourself, its devaluing who you are and what you are capable of. When its towards work, well then it could simply be laziness or lack of passion. Are you a minimalist?

Do you do the bare minimum? Or do you push the edges and limits to create something new or different?

I would stretch that a bit and say that some people are minimalists when it comes to others. We do everything for ourselves, but we do the bare minimum for others. We have no issue spending thousands on ourselves, but when someone needs something, we start counting the coins. Minimalists…….

Are you one of those?

When it comes to careers, sometimes all we want is to get our foot in the door. The problem is sometimes we park there for decades….at the door, not venturing further or exploring.

When we look at our social lives, how often are we willing to meet new people? Do we stick to who we know? Are we minimalists in that regard?

I have fought my minimalist ways for most of my life. And good that I did that to. I shudder to think where I would have been if I just let it happen and done the bare minimum……

To end off today I would like to draw your attention to one thing that seems to be a problem here in South Africa. Our minimum wage.

I was chatting to someone over the weekend and he (a foreigner) was saying that his girlfriend was working as a cleaner and her salary was R1900($260 at the moment) a month. Now I ask you……Is that a livable wage for anyone? And they have children………

Anyway so this friend was telling me that the country that he is from, is at war at the moment. I did not find that really shocking because if you knew which country he is from, you would not be surprised at all. But they were not at war with other countries, the citizens are at war (the peaceful non violent type) with the authorities with regards to cost of living. And they are winning the war.

I was puzzled and curious, apparently it all started on facebook, with a group about the price of cottage cheese. Its a common item in the country and it had more than doubled in price. What a bunch of citizens did is protest via creating a facebook group. It went viral and soon the whole country was standing together. Amazing hey, needless to say their demands were met.

I was gob smacked and started saying it will never happen here. He said that he believed the same about his own country, yet they proved him wrong hey.

To cut it short and get to the point, on your right on this page is a facebook page about the minimum wage debacle. I think it should be at least R3000 ($410) per month. If you agree please like the page. You never know, we might get it done……….

DISCLAIMER
Although I am not advocating you work for the minimum wage, it is a good place to start and do for a while. I am simply saying that if you do find yourself there, at least you should be able to live…

thehonestone

Just For Fun

The Welcoming Committee

I am sure at some point you must of come across one of those dreaded peppy people. You know who I am talking about? People who it seems like they were paid to smile and be nice. Those unusually happy and overly zealous ones who stands at the doors of a church or company entry, and welcome you. There is no way to avoid them. They barricade the door. They create a corridor, and there is no way that you can silently slip in. The GREETERS

(I just find them creepy with their huge smiles). Nothing personal towards them, but its just not normal to be so upbeat with a total stranger. Even worse is if you return to the church the next week and the same person that greeted you with such a huge smile….does not recognise you (freaky). I myself admit to the fact that I forget names (I really cannot get over that one hey), but faces I never forget so why put these forgetful people as the welcoming committee?

Although I would not want to be the first person someone sees coming into a church, okay to be more specific, a church should not want me to be the first person anyone sees on entry to a new place. Ha ha ha, they might never return.

Yes GREETERS, next time rather don’t smile, I am onto you, I cannot put my finger on it yet, but I am sure if there was such a thing as aliens they would be greeters. No one ever suspects them.

thehonestone

I can’t B.E.E.lieve it…..

Black Economic Empowerment……mmmmmmmm….. I cannot say I was ever a believer of B.E.E.

My own personal thoughts on it, is that it is a knee jerk reaction to the atrocities done to the black people of our land. I don’t condone what was done in apartheid, but I really do not think B.E.E. and affirmative action is the solution to the problem.

The reason why I call it a knee jerk reaction is because it has the almost invisible drive behind it of “We want it all and we want it now”. Change takes time and normally it requires one or two generations to take the sacrifice for fixing the problem. This has not happened at all in South Africa. We had decades of apartheid, and in a paltry 14-15 years we want it all fixed and the people benefiting already.
Its like applying steroids to your body building process. It works quickly, but ultimately wreaks havoc on the body.

To make things worse, who has race colour on their lips more often than anyone else? B.E.E. forces and reminds us of our colour differences. Yes what was done was wrong, to have one race oppress another simply because of their skin colour is wrong. But is the answer to penalize them on the same basis? Which is exactly what the B.E.E. process does, label people and class them so we can put forward a bunch of people regardless of skill and ability, and simply place them in positions because they are the right colour. Where will it stop?

Also it catapults us into an arena with little education. Skills need education, and certain professions take time and passion. Its not based on skin colour. What about a level of competency? What about entrepreneurship? Should I not venture into those things because I am not black enough? Do I sit back and allow the stupidity of this system to continue, and we will spiral into a depth of circular living, should we demand that people be employed simply to equalise the colour barrier.

Lets take America for example, how long did they take to have a black president (though I would hardly call him black)?

I see now our country is planning on having racial equity fines. Unbelievable hey. If we want more black people in management, allow people the freedom to choose to be educated in the area of passion, like all of the other South Africans had to do it. If you want a more balanced racial business world, allow people the time to develop a passion for it and they will take the reigns themselves.

Lets focus on building a country where people really are free to explore life and not be judged by what skin colour and let that be the determining factor as to whether they will succeed or not…

What do you think?

thehonestone

Check out this blog post I stumbled upon, he made a good point about the christian life Click here

The elephant in the room….

I am sure most people know the story. But in case you don’t…There once was a king who asked four blind men to explain to him what an elephant is like. Each of the men went and grabbed a part of the elephant. The first one shouted that an elephant is like a tree trunk (he had grabbed onto the leg), the second said the elephant is like a rope (he clearly had grabbed onto the tail). The third man shouted that the elephant is like a air cooling fan (he had grabbed onto the ear). The fourth man declared that the elephant is like a pole (he had grabbed the tusk).

There are many versions of that story some with more men in it, but I think you get the point. Its not that each man got it wrong, its that they never put it all together, since they all had the same handicap.

As humans in life we tend to have the same issue, each of us thinks we see the full picture and we reason that that is the full story. We then go about trying to make everyone see it our way. When in truth, you can only really see the bigger picture by working together and being open to see it from another’s point of view.

Life is like a puzzle and we all get to work together to complete it. It does not help when some narrow minded people think they found it (and some of them are barely even 30 years old) and go around making it into doctrines that everyone must now follow. Look, there are no shortage of fools and followers out there to keep any given belief a hearing. Evidenced by cults, evolution theory, Islam……. Yes I said it Islam.

My point being that we have to listen to all and when the puzzle pieces fit, we will then conclude that the complete picture tells the story itself. I am sure if we objectively looked at all the beliefs out there we would realise that there is a commonality that exists in all of them. The reason why I specifically mentioned evolution, Islam and cults is because under the weight of scrutiny and measuring against working truth, they do not stand the test and fail, when pressure is applied. In itself the people in these systems are just as narrow minded as they accuse the Christians of being. They also are not open to listen to other beliefs that are different to their own. I know the same could be said of Christianity, but that is the result of a few immature believers who really don’t understand life in general. The reason why I poke holes at the specific beliefs that I mentioned earlier is that they don’t seem to have a mature bunch at all.

Anyway, if we want to find out what life is about and discover truth, then we have to start listening and be open to change if we find things are self evident.

Its time to deal with the elephant in the room…..

thehonestone

We can…..if we want to…..

I am not sure if you smoke cigarettes…..

I find it amazing that there are some things that we, as humans collectively, simply do not tolerate. And becomes an effort from everybody to work together and apply the decision. It requires a unity and agreement.

Do you remember the times when smoking was allowed indoors and in public spaces? It is just not done anymore. And it was applied across the board, whether it was accepted or not by the individual. No smoking was just accepted as, “for the good of all.”

Makes me think, when we want to stop something, we can…(fill in the blanks)

thehonestone