Monthly Archives: July 2015

The Human Condition

human conditionIt has always baffled me to some degree.

Please understand that I am not a proponent of animal cruelty, but why is that people say that they cannot kill animals in an inhumane way? Yet they they have no issues eating this animal that was killed in a humane way.

At the other end of the stick we have animal rights people who refuse to eat animals and care very little about how they treat humans.

It must say a lot about how we view life and each other right? At one end we seek to lift up animals to a human level and at the other end we reduce human life to the same level as animals and treat each accordingly.

Granted the animal can do nothing to defend itself, whereas the human can.

Another difference is that one never sees an animal with an identity crisis either. Psychotherapy seems a treat only for us humans. We are the only creatures on earth that doubt ourselves and our purpose.

I wish I could say I have the answers to it all, but I really just cannot understand it all. It mind blowing in the sense that some of us who need to think a bit deeply….never do. The others think too much.

As the saying goes, “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid people are full of confidence”… Charles Bukowski

Always the opposite of what it is meant to be hey.

Its a frustrating life you will receive if you ever question the status quo. Happy life if you don’t. Torturous life if you try to change something. And never mess with the compliance department.

We love things that hurt us and hate things that ultimately is good for us. We accept the rubbish and stop the good. It continues  from generation. We murder the people who ultimately speak the truth, and years, decades, centuries later, we celebrate them as visionaries.

We allow weak and manipulative and down right evil leaders to rule in our lifetimes, because we must accept all people and for the sake of democracy. The hilarious thing is the real people who fought for the democracy in the first place were taken out because they were too radical.

How many times has that happened to you? At your job you tried to affect change and got the brick wall. Until you leave and suddenly your ideas are implemented…..

Fascinating right?

Chew on that for a while….

 

thehonestone

 

Survivalist

I was walking around a mall the other day and noticed quite a few clothing stores. I remember thinking to myself, I wonder how they survive? I am one of those rare people that does little to no clothing shopping. I would have to break something before I consider purchasing shoes or clothing.

Another thing if you run into me on a normal day is, my answer to “How are you?” goes something like this “I am still alive”.
Which can be taken in many ways, in most case the bottom line of I am here, what else counts? Or I am alive and kicking and taking everything head on.

I will leave you to guess which one I am projecting.

If I look back at life, through all the choices and career paths, realtionships. It is clear that I am a survivalist. I can claw my way out of anything.

american-survivalist1-300x300

The fact that I am still around after it all, proves that. I can be very resourceful and will turn everything around eventually. This is an achievement for a pessimist lol.

My concern is that maybe I have become so used to fighting and struggling in life that I miss some things because they too easy.

The clothing store cannot be a survivalist, since they are simply an option in an array of options. They are then thrown in the scale of priority to consumers, since if most people had to choose between food and clothing, the answer is simple right. I cannot live without food, so food it is, if I had to choose.

I heard a woman say the other day (at a party) I had to buy the top I have on now, because “I had nothing to wear”.

Mmmmmm, I am sure she had a cupboard full of clothing. I think this is why clothing stores are still here. Women…… ha ha ha, maybe, but that is not what I was getting at.

I think the stores have an abundance mentality. Sure you have clothes, but why not more? Why focus only on what you need?
There are shoes that are R2000 a pair. Do we “need” that? Nope, but we buy it because we can and we like it.

I also forget sometimes that it takes all kinds to make the world around. After all we are not all the same. And for the clothing stores they should praise the Lord for that, because if they were all like me, they would have to close the doors very soon.

But getting back to what I was searching and looking into. Is maybe there is another phase one needs to get to.

Abundance

1-1-abundance

I do not mean this in a new age (the secret) way. I mean simply meaning that life is not always a struggle and a fight. I think its a good trait to have though. The willingness to fight and win. But not all things in life need to be tackled and struggled with.

You trying to set a website up and its taken you months to get it going……why not just hire a professional and let it be their problem and you can get on with other things.

We want to save a buck, and we try and do all the things ourselves, then we have to deal with overwhelm. Who has time for that?

thehonestone

that’s so racist….

rac·ist
?r?s?st/
noun
noun: racist; plural noun: racists

1.
a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
synonyms: racial bigot, racialist, xenophobe, chauvinist, supremacist More
“he was exposed as a racist”
(racially) discriminatory, racialist, prejudiced, bigoted
“a racist society”

adjective
noun: racist; plural noun: racists; adjective: racist

1.
having or showing the belief that a particular race is superior to another.
“we are investigating complaints about racist abuse at the club”

It fascinates me how often I get accused of being a racist. Or at least my comments get called “that’s so racist”. Which sets it up for “you’re so racist”.

racist

Now, I have my opinions in life. But since saying “Black people are…..” does that mean racism. Or when I say “white people are…..”. If they are that way then its simply a comment of an observation. Right?

Now if I said they are this and that alluding to the fact that I am better than them, well then that is racist.

I find that because of our past in South Africa, we are very sensitive when it comes to the mention of colour. Now commenting and saying a statement like ” Black people eat a lot of fried chicken” is a true statement. Does it mean I am looking down on them for that? Because that would be a racist thought.
But making the comment does not assume racist thoughts. Its merely a statement based on observation.

I could just as easily say “Coloured people love gatsbies” which is true. Generally speaking of course. “White people have strange finger foods and have nibbles for food”. Does it mean my view is better?

I am of the belief that true unity comes from accepting the differences. Rather than having a society that never mentions colour (but thinks it). When we learn that we are all different, and that it is okay to be different.

Fundamentally however, I have never grasped racism. When I think and look at it from every angle. I cannot seem to see how it fits in humanity. Intellectually it makes no sense. Our skin colour is just that, skin colour. Behaviour is not determined by your skin colour. It is how you grow up.

I say this because I still experience it internally. When I walk into a room that is filled with white people, there is a slight tension. I cannot explain it, and of course one can never say anything……because that would be racist…..lol:)

Or when white people talk to me, I mean those ones that don’t really engage with coloured people on a day to basis. They talk slowly and softer. I think they afraid to offend me. Little do they know the string of comments coming their way. I have found that I can say black and coloured and white……but they cannot. 🙂
And I use this to my advantage. Okay so maybe not so much, and one should really use opportunities when they come across one’s path, Correct?

So if you think you better than the next person and that person seems to be of a different colour persuasion, then you are a racist. Bask in it. Not a good thing, but you have to be honest with yourself.

So my friends and others of the lighter and darker persuasion, I do not think I am better than you. I will however comment on your mannerisms. You may too.

But let us all get to know and embrace the differences as just that, differences.

the honest one

to be honest…..

I have never really been a person for meaningless statements. In fact on a normal day I don’t talk much.
That does not mean I cannot talk nonsense, I have a degree in nonsense talk….. You may apply if you want to learn..

I can however assure you that, when I say I will do something, it is as good as done. But not everybody does that these days. The culture of today is rather fickle and its rather hard to take somebody seriously at their word. It is flimsy, but what can one do? Now it is a matter of looking at context and area of life when somebody tells me something they will do.

I guess I am a rather cynical person because I have distilled it to the point of I don’t believe anyone means anything and I am surprised if they follow through.

Cynical-104071880767

We say so many things like, “how are you?” and we get so shocked when the person starts unpacking how they are…..
We say let’s do coffee…..and months later you never did.
We say “I’ll pray for you…..” and you know you don’t.

It is almost like we think we can just say the thing we think the other person needs to hear and that let’s us off the hook. We made them feel better…. Yay for us.

“To be honest”. This is a phrase I truly despise. I know it is an adverbial disjunct (the technical term for it), but its annoying. Should I conclude that unless you say “to be honest” that everything else you say is a lie?

honesty lies

Perhaps it is because I take my word seriously. I guess that is a challenge for someone out there. You can take me up on that. If I give a yes, I will do it.
And this filters into every level of communication for me. I am the most contactable person, you can pretty much get me on every platform, not 24/7 (yet lol).
Which describes my other irritation in life. Technology is not good for this frustration. You can see when a message is delivered as well as read. You can setup read receipts, and one wonders why people never respond.

You send out emails and no one responds. I can understand this maybe in a social setting, but businesses do this too. You come to a live chat and you just know this is an automated response because you type in a question and twiddle your thumbs for 15 mins and no answer.
Its mean, and demeaning.
Its not being a human.

We expect our wants and requests to be done….now, but we don’t give a rat’s behind for the next person’s wants or needs.

To be honest……I don’t think we know how anymore. To be honest I mean.

My rant is almost over (I have one a year okay).

I have calmed down on this over the years. I used to take people at their word, and boy its not healthy to do that hey.

My challenge to you, when you say something that is remotely a promise, try and do it. Just for a week. But really try it. Don’t let yourself off the hook.

the honest one

community is a……dancer…

Please watch this first if you can.

I am one of those people that always seem to have music around me in life. Be it listening as driving, while working on a pc or even while doing the events we normally do.
Life should have a sound track right?

I think music is a great catalyst, and we see that go both ways. Good and bad. I have also had the misfortune of being around dance my entire life. Just kidding, not sure whether it was good or bad, since I have 2 left feet and have never found freedom in dancing myself. My mother and sister did ballet though, so ever since I was able to remember anything I was dragged to Eisteddfods and this dance and that performance.
It never escaped me. When it came to churches they danced there too.

When I eventually started working, guess what? Dance followed me….. Contemporary, Jazz, abstract (this is by far the worse kind to work with).

I joined a theatre (what on earth was I thinking????) Ballet, abstract to the nth degree, contemporary, you name it it was all there.

But to the point of the video above. I wanted to point out that life is like a dance. And I have been a huge believer that community around us is made of strong individuals. And we see that in the video. The performance is one unit, but many individuals. Which is a lot like how life is meant to be lived.
We don’t see that dazed look on any of the dancers….. You know that look… The one that goes “what on earth is the next move?”

dancer

Now I promise you I have seen that before, Although I find it hilarious, its a massive distraction and very noticeable. When the performance is good, when they all practised and know their part and bring it on stage. If they have an issue they focus on the director. The person next to them cannot help, they do not see the whole picture. Look the person next to you can assist if you stumble or fall, but they cannot fix your problem if your steps are wrong.

Now I am not one to agree with Shakespeare, that all the world is a stage. But there are preparation phases and implementation phases. When one implements something it is similar to a perfomance.

What I would like you to see is, the reason for community break down and why we suffer the break down in communication and I can go on and on.
If you as an individual focused on your part and “practised”, the collective would be stronger. If you live your dream, and all the traumas that brings with it, the community around it benefits as well.

You see it clearly in a choreographed dance like in the video. If you have only one that is unsure it affects the whole.

Community life is very much like a dance. It takes a lot of strong individuals to make it a healthy one. So the big question is where to find these healthy communities?????

Very easy to answer, become a healthy individual and follow what is inside of you. I promise you the outside environment will change.

I see so many people looking for answers in all the wrong places. And here I include myself. I am not saying we should never seek advice, but to make your decisions solely up to the advice you get, is rather dangerous.

If one looks at celebrities that go broke, after having millions and millions at their disposal, they lost it. How????
They handed the decisions to other people. They did not keep in touch with what was their responsibility.

You want to fix the world around you, change yourself and you will see the world change in front of you.

the honest one