MY WIFE IS PREGNANT, those words at some stage my friends who are married will tell me. Now friends I can handle telling me that with minimal wincing. Things are about to change right?
So I can deal with seeing less and less and less and less of my friends as they embrace parenthood. Although I truly wonder why people become more scarce when they have children. Surely community is developed by seeing more of each other. Anyway, back to the story…….
Seeing less of friends that I can handle, but when you are only 2 in your department and your colleague says those four words, MY WIFE IS PREGNANT…….. Now that will have some drastic and direct effects on my life now won’t it….
Firstly all the doctor appointments seem to fall on critical periods (whenever I am free) leaving me no option, but to cover. I mean, what could be more important in a single person’s life than a doctor’s appointment for your future baby??????
How do I compete with that? There is simply nothing big enough to reason my way out of that one. All I could ask is how is it possible that all the appointments happen when there are shows and I am free (well whether I am or not is irrelevant) I will be free so that the wife can be taken to the hospital. My mind naturally clings to conspiracy theories and this one wreaks of it ha ha ha (insert evil laugh)
So where does that leave me? I cannot think of a single thing that can top that, other than my own funeral. Being married always wins, and if you want to seal the deal, have a baby. No single person can beat that. My own funeral cannot be the only way, since I will not be there to gloat over my colleague and say “top that” you married child haver…..
But yes I digress. What can I do? I hate doctors so I cannot fake illnesses since I would have to go the fake doctor to get a fake certificate. And since I am thehonestone, that does not fit my demeanor.
So I suffer on and take those shot s for the team (of 2) and make my contribution to society and one day I might meet this child of which I sacrificed many an hour for and hope that it was worth it.
The only joy I have in that is when I get home I lay my head down with no new born baby to awake it until I awake (naturally I might add). And celebrate the joys of singleness until the next doctor’s appointment……