Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dear John…..

Confrontation is not always the easiest thing in life. I know its not easy for me. It always feels like I lose something in that process. Yet its necessary to confront things and people at least periodically.

dear john

You remember that series? “Dear John” ” by the time you read this letter I will be gone….” and the rest of the series was John dealing with life all on his own.
It seems so unfair on John in the series. Life on his own and all the questions…
Has someone ever walked out on you? And I don’t just mean a spouse. A friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a colleague? No explanation, just gone……

Other than the issue of you on your own, you are left to wonder why? All on your own….

I know it seems like one is saving the person trauma, but it really comes down to the “leaver” being selfish and not wanting to confront things head on.

I remember a time when I was in college and a close friend just never pitched up the next semester. No explanation, no communication……just gone….. I suppose she never owed me an explanation, but it would of helped I think.

I guess it comes down to value and the ability to correctly place that value on the correct things and then act.

If you value freedom and people in life, learn to confront things and people. It will only help in the long run.

I make a point of always letting people in my life know where they stand. Sometimes too much and sometimes I slip up. But honesty is very high up in my list values.
Its not easy, nothing of value in life is. Your business, relationships and family will change.

In fact I see it a lot in companies as well. Instead of dealing with the actual person who causes problems, companies create blanket rules for all. How cowardly…..

Churches do it too… People do this all the time. No one loves confrontation. There is always a loss, but there is a gain as well.

You decide….

thehonestone

The Demandalist

Perfectionist…..

Narcissist….

Idealist….

These are all personality traits I know. Not that I like them, but I know them. I deal with some and maybe all most of my days in my business. This does not exclude me either. I am not sure where I fit in there, but I have some of all……

However, I have come across a new one….the demandalist…

I think this type has specifically been created by our current culture.

demandalistNot pretty at all.

One would think that this kind of behaviour belongs to a 3 year old, but I assure you, that there are grown people that have this trait.

I want it and I want it now

 

These are those, that want what they want and they don’t care if it makes sense or what it entails to get done.

They simply do not care about the “who” they stomp on. It’s like they have an area in their life that never developed and that 3 year old creeps out. Somehow they managed to fool people into thinking they had some sort of gift.

As we all know the loudest one always tends to get the position…right? Well the loudest one is not always the right one for the job.

Maybe we got it wrong. The one doing it is not always the right  one. Sometimes all it takes is for the quiet ones to shut these demandalists up. After all, they really don’t know any better, they are just the loudest….

 

thehonestone

 

Facebook posts that erk me……..

I think facebook should create a limit to how many words one can use in a facebook status update.

One would think that people have something meaningful to impart when they write that many words. But all I am left feeling is how on earth do I get back that 15 seconds back of my life.

And I never seem to learn because it is wrong to pre judge people, and also sometimes there are really good posts. I also think people should have the decency to start a blog and share their shallow drivel with their own flock.

 

In short why do train preaching when you can start a church and people can follow you of their own volition . The audience is more receptive and are there to actually listen to you. In a train, mostly these preachers are an annoyance….

Noise you have to get through to start your day. And before you haul me over the coals…… if you can prove to me from scripture that Jesus preached on trains, well then I will agree with  the train preachers. And yes I know there were no trains, that is beside the point………. 🙂

Now onto the facebook prophets, I understand the Lord has spoken to you. But notice He spoke to you. Try listening and doing first then maybe you can start sharing……………..

Anyway enough of my ranting…..

 

thehonestone

 

 

 

One Day

 

One day we will live in a world where people respect each other for who they are…

One day we will live in a world where people are honest with each other…….

One day we will live in a world where the truth is a celebrated state…

One day we will live in a world where life is cherished and not treated as a means to an end for some…

One day young women will realise that they should focus on who they are rather than try and grab attention of the young fool she thinks she wants………

One young men will learn to live their lives and develop some character rather than chase skirts all day long……..

One day the work place will be only for people who come there to work and not to deal with their issues that are unresolved from high school……

One day we shall see the value in people and things and realise that certain things are just not that important…….

One day governments will realise that they exist because of “the people”, not the other way around…..

One day the business world will grow a conscience, and realise that certain things are crimes against the greater good of humanity….

One day the people of this world will realise that whether we like it or not we are all connected and one. No matter how hard we try to create separations via race, tribe, class, economic state, language, country, religion, politics…… We simply cannot get away that we need each other….

One day churches will actually love people….Not a means to “build a kingdom”….

One day thieves will realise the true damage they do when they take stuff from others…..

One day the rapist will see the type of torture they inflict on their victims….

One day we will see how our decisions affect others…

One day people will get married for the right reasons and when they are grown up…

One day idiots will be called out…

One day………………………..

 

 

Now you can make that today……

 

thehonestone

 

The Bedrock of Life…

Whatever you believe to to be true is true…..right?

To a certain extent I can agree with that.
We all live what we believe, and whether we like it or not its pretty much what rules us. It is the reason I call it the bedrock of life. It is what rules us and where we live from.

Now you could say that I am wrong, but think about it. Let’s for argument sake say that a girl tells a guy that
she loves him and he is the only one for him,
but the very next week she is out flirting with any guy she can find..

What she is saying with her mouth is really not what she believes. She may want to believe it, but she really is still looking.

What I noticed over time is that people say manyt things, but ultimately they will act what they truly believe.

Jumping back to the start of this post, let’s explore the “whatever I believe to be true”

I suppose what I mean is that whatever you believe to be true will be your reality that you live in. In that sense its your truth, because you validate
it by your actions.

But is it really true?

Do you really believe? Are you trapped in a circumstantial approach to life?

How do we escape this dilemma?

Well the only way is to be true to who you are…. No matter what the cost and live from the inside out…

thehonestone

Tone and context

Emails do not have a tone….

Well not without context.  I am always fascinated how people can say the tone of the email. I am sure the person writing the mail had a tone, but its not possible for the reader to read the tone as intended without adding their own tone to it…

And here we enter a mine field, because I have checked myself, sometimes I have to reread something a few times, because we see what we want to see most of the time. It’s easy to jump on the horse wagon and go off about something, but do we ever stop to realise, the tone that we apply, may not be what is really meant.

Politicians exploit this, because they “never say” or “never meant it that way”. But the plain old truth about the matter that unless you understand context (and few do) we simply have to read words for what they are. Books are a better medium to get a point across, because they can create context, but emails are too short for that. I am also sure you would not want essays arriving in your mail box.

Tone and context are needed for effective delivery of your intended message, yet few people ever give both.  It’s the reason I write with brackets and supposed expressions.

What’s worse is that even in speaking to people, they really only hear what they want to hear or simply skim what is being said……

I sometimes wish we could simply download what we are trying to say, but hey I guess there is a reason that we are forced to use words.  And we are subjected to the reasoning of others….